Divorce is very difficult for children. The close-knit family that they were used to is suddenly split apart. Everything changes, and often the children find themselves in the middle of the two fighting parents. But what some parents fail to realize is that divorce is hard for grandparents as well. Some grandparents play a major role in the lives of their grandchildren, and in some cases, help parents raise the children. However, in the event that the parents decide to get a divorce, grandparents often find that they are powerless to keep the bonds that they developed with the children.

Often, grandparents will become involved in the divorce at the urging of their child. While it might be tempting to get in the middle, this could cause the other parent to become defensive. If that parent is awarded custody, the grandparents can find themselves being frozen out of the child's life. Contested custody matters can be even worse for grandparents.

The court's willingness to allow grandparents to have visitation or custody rights will vary greatly depending upon the situation. In many cases, if the parents decide that to restrict grandparent access, the courts will adhere to these wishes. The grandparents will have a difficult time showing that they should be awarded visitation time, especially in situations where both parents are alive.

In Virginia, grandparents have a high threshold to overcome if they are seeking visitation rights. Virginia courts have held that raising a child is a fundamental right, and that the state will only interfere with that right to protect the child's health and welfare. In order for a third-party, such as a grandparent or any other person with a legitimate interest, to be awarded visitation or custody over objection of the parents, the court must find that the lack of visitation would harm the child.

These rules make it extremely challenging for grandparents to present compelling reasons for visitation to the court, if both parents are still alive and involved in the life of the child. Since these rules can vary greatly depending upon the situation, speak with an experienced family law attorney in your area if you have questions or concerns.